So, the secret is finally out in the open, not that any of us with a functioning brain cell didn’t already know. The court papers for Rigathi Gachagua’s impeachment battle have confirmed what we’ve suspected all along: this isn’t a government; it’s a private member’s club. They’ve actually filed the Kenya Kwanza coalition agreement as evidence, proving that the “government-by-shares” model wasn’t just Gachagua being loud-mouthed at a funeral. It’s the official blueprint. If you didn’t invest in the “company” during the election, don’t go looking for your name on the payroll. You’re just a spectator in your own country.

It reminds me of that mess down in Equatorial Guinea with Baltasar Engonga. Whether it’s sex tapes in a government office or “shareholding” agreements in a Nairobi boardroom, the rot is the same. As we explored in The Anatomy of a Political Assassination: How Baltasar Engonga’s Fall Reveals Africa’s Corruption Cancer, the African political elite don’t see public office as a duty; they see it as a loot-bag. While you’re queuing for a passport or struggling with the latest tax hike, they’re busy dividing the spoils like they’re at a mid-year board meeting.

And look at our so-called democracy. In some counties, the governor’s seat didn’t even attract a challenger. Why would it? When the system is this rigged, nobody wants to waste their money fighting an incumbent who has already bought the referee and the VAR. It’s a closed shop. We are moving toward a one-party state disguised as a “stable” administration, where the only thing being stabilized is the bank accounts of those in power.

Meanwhile, the opposition is doing what it does best: collapsing and rebranding. Azimio is being tossed into the bin in favor of a “new coalition framework.” It’s the same circus, just with different colored tents. Kalonzo Musyoka is currently in the US, probably shaking tin cans to “bolster his war chest.” He’s looking for dollars abroad while the people he claims to lead are looking for a reason to believe that voting actually changes anything. It’s all a performance, and we’re the ones paying for the tickets.

Critics are calling the President a “transactional leader” who buys loyalty. Honestly, in this economy, who can blame him? Everything in Kenya has a price tag - justice, loyalty, and apparently, your constitutional rights. If the “shareholders” are happy, the country can burn for all they care. We aren’t citizens anymore; we are just the collateral damage of a four-year merger and acquisition deal. Don’t hold your breath for the court hearings in April; by then, they’ll have probably traded the judges for a few more “shares.”