They are popping champagne at the top of the Kenya National Police DT SACCO, and why wouldn’t they? A Ksh 3 billion net profit is a lot of money in a country where the average citizen is currently surviving on prayers and cheap tea. They’ll tell you about the Ksh 66.4 billion in assets and the “remarkable growth,” but if you’ve lived in Nairobi long enough, you know that when the numbers look this good, someone is getting squeezed. In this case, it’s the very officers who are supposed to be protecting you, but are instead drowning in a sea of “interest on loans.”

Let’s look at the “income” of Ksh 10.7 billion. Where did it come from? The report says it plainly: “most of its revenue generated from interest on loans to members.” Translate that from corporate-speak to Nairobi reality: the SACCO is getting rich off the desperation of its members. We’ve turned our police force into a captive market for high-interest credit. They borrow to pay school fees, they borrow to build a house back home, and they borrow to pay off the previous loan. It’s a closed-loop system where the house - or in this case, the SACCO board - always wins.

The irony is as thick as the smog on Mombasa Road. This is recognized as one of the “best-managed” SACCOs, receiving awards and accolades while the rank-and-file officer lives in dilapidated housing that hasn’t seen a coat of paint since the Moi era. It’s a classic Kenyan magic trick: look at the billions in the vault, but ignore the tattered uniform of the man standing at the roadblock. We celebrate the institution’s “excellence” while the individual officer is one missed salary away from a total breakdown.

Even the mention of MUSCO Sacco getting its license back should make your skin crawl. In this sector, licenses are revoked and reinstated like a game of musical chairs, usually depending on who is whispering in whose ear at the Ministry. It’s all part of the same grand gamble we see in every sector of this government. Whether it’s SACCO billions or sports infrastructure, the script is the same: the elites cook the books, the PR firms spin the “growth,” and the mwananchi - or the junior constable - is left holding the bill.

It’s the same pattern we see in the national political arena. Just as the SACCO pads its stats while its members struggle, we see the leadership making big bets with public money. As explored in Is Ruto Gambling With CHAN For Political Gains?, the focus is always on the optics of success rather than the actual welfare of the people involved. In Nairobi, if the deal looks too good to be true, you’re usually the one being traded.

So, let them celebrate their Ksh 4.1 billion dividend distribution. For the top brass, it’s a windfall. For the constable in the trenches, it’s just a tiny rebate on the soul they’ve already sold to the interest-rate gods. In a city of illusions, the Police SACCO is just the latest shiny billboard hiding a very dark alley. Stay woke, because these billions aren’t meant for you, and they certainly aren’t making the streets any safer.