Welcome to Kenya, where being a woman between the ages of 18 and 35 is officially a high-risk occupation. The latest report, Counting the Cost, isn’t just a collection of numbers; it’s a bloody ledger of 1,069 women who lost their lives between 2016 and 2025. In 2025 alone, 102 sisters were wiped out. If you think you’re safe because you stay home and mind your business, think again. In this city of “God-fearing” men, the statistics show that the most dangerous thing you can do is share a zip code - or a bed - with a man who claims to love you.

Forget the boogeyman in the dark alley. The report confirms that the call is coming from inside the house. Over 60 percent of these killings happen in domestic settings, with husbands and boyfriends leading the charge. We’ve moved from “till death do us part” to “until he decides to use a knife, a blunt object, or his bare hands.” Stabbing and strangulation have become the standard language of “domestic disputes,” and the margins of safety are shrinking faster than the value of the shilling. Whether you’re at home or in public, the target on your back is permanent.

If you’re looking to the Judiciary for a sense of security, don’t hold your breath. The “Long Arm of the Law” in Kenya is apparently suffering from chronic fatigue. It takes between four to seven years to conclude a femicide case. Imagine that - seven years of your family attending court dates in Kitui or Machakos while your killer walks around on bail or eats tax-funded beans. With fewer than 10 percent of cases filed since 2016 actually reaching a judgment, the message to perpetrators is loud and clear: the system is too slow to care, and the public has a short memory.

The real insult, however, is the “Husband Discount.” If you’re a married man who kills his wife, the system treats it like a clerical error. Husbands are frequently handed manslaughter convictions instead of murder through “plea bargains.” Apparently, citing a “domestic dispute” or “the kids need a father” is enough to shave years off a sentence. While other family members get 21 years, husbands walk away with an average of 17. It seems the price of a woman’s life is negotiable if you have a marriage certificate and a good story about your feelings.

We’ve previously discussed Healing After Infidelity and Reconciliation, but let’s be brutally honest - sometimes there is no “after.” In a country where 93 percent of concluded cases result in convictions but only a fraction ever reach the finish line, “reconciliation” with a violent partner is just a stay of execution. Nairobi realness dictates that you stop romanticizing the red flags. The system isn’t coming to save you; it’s too busy filing your paperwork in a cabinet that won’t be opened until 2032. Stay safe, stay skeptical, and for heaven’s sake, watch your back.