The National Police Service has once again decided that your weekend plans are irrelevant. Assistant Superintendent Silas Bundi has announced that they are choking the life out of Mombasa Road and Lang’ata Road starting Friday midnight, all for the sake of the World Rugby Sevens Division II. It’s bad enough we have to deal with Nairobi traffic on a good day, but now we’re expected to celebrate being held hostage for a secondary tournament that most people didn’t even know was happening.
Bundi’s advice for those attending the event is a classic piece of Nairobi delusion: “Park in the CBD or somewhere far.” Clearly, the man hasn’t tried to find a parking spot in town on a weekend, or perhaps he’s just forgotten that walking three kilometers from the city center to Nyayo Stadium is basically an open invitation to every phone snatcher between here and the railway station. But sure, “cooperate” with the traffic police while they stand around doing absolutely nothing to help the gridlock they created.
The “security arrangement” is even more of a joke. Assistant Inspector General Edward Achola is warning anyone without a ticket to stay away to avoid “unnecessary confrontations.” In this city, that’s just a polite way of saying the police are itching to use their batons on anyone who looks at them the wrong way near Gate C. They’ve got five exit points planned, but let’s be real - the only thing that will be flowing freely is the frustration of every motorist stuck behind a “VVIP” motorcade heading to Gate B.
Meanwhile, the government is busy playing musical chairs with our stadiums. Kasarani is officially shut down for “final touches” ahead of AFCON 2027, and Nyayo is slated to follow suit the moment this rugby match ends. It’s the same old story: a Sh100 million government sponsorship announcement followed by “renovations” that usually consist of a fresh coat of paint and some very expensive-looking receipts. It’s a miracle they’re even letting a CAF match happen at Kasarani this Sunday before it becomes another construction graveyard.
If you’re coming from Mombasa Road and actually need to get to the CBD for something productive, you’re basically on your own. You’re told to use “alternative routes” that will inevitably be just as clogged because every other driver had the same brilliant idea. It’s the Nairobi way - we pay taxes for roads we aren’t allowed to use, to support stadiums that are always closed, while being told to stay home if we don’t have the cash to buy into the spectacle.
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