Welcome to the Arusha circus, where the elite gather to discuss “integration” while their own employees haven’t seen a paycheck since the rains started. On March 7, our regional “Heads of State” will fly into Tanzania on fuel paid for by taxpayers to discuss why they haven’t paid their $7 million annual membership fees. It’s the ultimate irony: a summit to discuss poverty at the top, while the East African Community (EAC) stares down a nearly $90 million hole of unpaid dues.

Let’s look at the “partners” in this dysfunctional marriage. The DRC joined the club with much fanfare, only to rack up a $27 million bill like a guest who orders the most expensive bottle of whiskey and then disappears when the waiter brings the check. Burundi and South Sudan aren’t far behind, owing $22.7 million and $21.8 million respectively. Meanwhile, Kenya and Tanzania are the only ones playing the role of the responsible adults, footing the bill for a house where everyone else is sleeping for free.

The rot isn’t just on paper; it’s physical. The East African Legislative Assembly has been paralyzed because members haven’t been paid since November. When you have legislators like David Sankok publicly lamenting “liquidity challenges” and KCB Bank Tanzania breathing down their necks over unpaid loans, you know the “East African Dream” is actually a nightmare of bad credit. It’s hard to legislate regional prosperity when you’re worried about your own car being repossessed.

We love to boast about a market of 300 million people, but we can’t even keep the lights on at the Inter-University Council or the Lake Victoria Fisheries Organisation. These institutions are the backbone of actual integration, yet they are being starved to death by the very presidents who claim to champion them. It’s all “vibes and inshaAllah” at this point - grand speeches in Arusha followed by a complete refusal to open the national purses.

This whole charade feels like another version of The Performative Outrage Trap. Instead of admitting the project is structurally flawed or that some members simply can’t afford to be in the club, the leaders will “rationalize expenditure” and “pronounce themselves.” It’s theater designed to distract us from the fact that the EAC is effectively bankrupt and running on fumes and empty promises.

President Ruto is reportedly “keen” on this issue, but we’ve heard that before. Unless these leaders walk into that room with checkbooks instead of just talking points, the Arusha summit will be nothing more than a high-level funeral for regional ambition. Investors aren’t blind; they see a bloc that can’t pay its own staff. In the real world, that’s called a failing business. In East African politics, we just call it another Tuesday.