Wycliffe Oparanya has finally handed over that “landmark” report on SACCO reforms to President Ruto, and honestly, if I had a shilling for every time a Kenyan politician used the word “transformation” to describe a stack of paper, I wouldn’t need a SACCO in the first place. They’re calling it a milestone for inclusive growth, but in Nairobi, we know that “inclusive” usually just means they’ve found a new way to include themselves in our hard-earned savings.

The irony is thicker than the smog on Mombasa Road. While Oparanya is busy thanking the President for “recognizing” a submission, traders in Ruiru are rebuilding their stalls after an arson attack. It’s the classic Kenyan duality: high-level committees sitting in air-conditioned boardrooms discussing “sustainability” while the actual economy is literally on fire. They spent months reviewing the 2008 Act, but you don’t need a PhD to know why SACCOs are failing - it’s the same old story of “big fish” eating the small ones while the regulator looks the other way.

And can we talk about this “international” committee? We’ve got experts from Scotland and the USA telling us how to manage our money. I’m sure Marlene Shiels from the Capital Credit Union knows exactly how a Boda Boda SACCO in Githurai operates. It’s the same old inferiority complex - flying in foreigners to give a “global best practice” stamp to a local mess. They even suspended the registration of new SACCOs for three months, effectively locking out the small players while the big, “professionally managed” ones continue to struggle with governance.

Oparanya says these reforms are about “restoring public confidence.” Let me tell you something for free: you don’t restore confidence with a PDF. You restore it by making sure that when a mama mboga puts her money in a SACCO, it doesn’t vanish into some CEO’s third home in Runda. They talk about being “future-ready,” but for most Kenyans, the “future” is just wondering if they’ll have enough for rent next month.

This whole “reform” circus feels like a desperate attempt to polish a sinking ship. With Ruto’s 2027 Problem looming, the government is scrambling to look like it’s doing something for the “hustlers.” But a new legal framework won’t stop the greed that’s baked into the system. If the laws we had since 2008 didn’t protect us, why should we believe a 2025 version will be any different?

At the end of the day, it’s just more bureaucracy disguised as progress. They’ll harmonize, they’ll professionalize, and they’ll definitely tax. But until I see a corrupt SACCO official actually behind bars instead of at a press conference, this report is just more fuel for the charcoal jiko. Grab your copy of the Sacco Review if you want to read the fairytales, but keep your eyes on your wallet.