President Donald Trump has officially lost his mind over Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl LX halftime show, branding it “one of the worst ever” simply because he could not understand a single word of Spanish. The man who claims to be the king of deals seems completely defeated by a few bars of reggaeton, proving that the real “disaster” in his eyes is not the dancing, but his inability to bully a language he does not speak into submission.

Wueh, the tea is piping hot in the digital streets of Kanairo. Trump took to Truth Social to scream into the void, claiming the performance was an “affront to the greatness of America” and failed to meet his personal standards of success. He complained that the show was “disgusting” for children, which is quite a rich take from a man whose own life story reads like a censored episode of a late-night soap opera. He is upset that Bad Bunny did not come out and recite the stock market reports, but instead gave the world a vibrant display of Puerto Rican culture that left the President feeling like a lost tourist without a translator.

The 401(k) obsession meets the dance floor

In a move that reeks of desperation, Trump even tried to link the halftime show to his administration’s economic record. Imagine being so pressed that you compare a man’s hip-shaking to the S&P 500. He called the performance a “slap in the face” to the country’s progress and its 401(k)s. This is the peak of the hegemon’s ego, where everything, even a pop concert, must be measured against a balance sheet. It perfectly mirrors the themes in The Hegemon’s Shadow: Decoding the Rise of the American World Police and Africa’s Path to Sovereignty, where we see this exact “my way or the highway” attitude being shoved down the world’s throat. Trump wants a world where everything looks like a 1950s boardroom, but the rest of us have already moved on to the after-party.

Yelling at clouds and NFL rules

The President did not stop at the music. He managed to squeeze in a moan about the NFL’s new kickoff rules, telling Roger Goodell that the game is no longer “tough” enough. Basically, if people are not crashing into each other with life-altering force for his entertainment, Trump is not happy. It is the classic “old man yells at cloud” trope, but with more spray tan and better WiFi. He is mourning a version of the world that only exists in his head, one where the music is in English and the concussions are mandatory.

Bad Bunny’s “ICE Out” energy

Bad Bunny, on the other hand, is likely not losing a second of sleep. After his Grammy speech telling ICE to get out and reminding everyone that “we are not savages,” he knew exactly which buttons he was pushing. Trump’s “disgusting” is just code for “I am irrelevant to this demographic.” Social media users have already started the mockery, with many pointing out that if the man in the high tower is this angry, Bad Bunny must have performed a masterpiece. In the end, the only thing “one of the worst ever” here is Trump’s ability to handle a world that no longer asks for his permission to dance.