Another day, another mzungu predator treating Nairobi and Accra like his personal playground. This time, it’s a self-styled Russian “pick-up artist” who thought it was a brilliant idea to fit his sunglasses with cameras and film his sexual encounters without consent. He’s already back in the motherland, probably editing his next “content” drop while our officials scramble to look like they’re actually doing something. If you’ve spent five minutes in this city, you know the only thing faster than a matatu on Ngong Road is how quickly these guys vanish once they’ve done their damage.

Minister Hanna Cheptumo is out here talking about “pursuing the matter with urgency.” Please. In Kenya, “urgency” is the word we use for things that will eventually be buried in a dusty file cabinet once the Twitter outrage dies down. We’re being told that security and investigative agencies have been directed to collaborate with international authorities. It sounds impressive until you remember that Russia doesn’t exactly have a reputation for being helpful when it comes to extraditing their own citizens for “minor” inconveniences like ruining African women’s lives.

Ghana is making the same noise, with their Technology Minister Sam George threatening to use “every resource” at his disposal. It’s all very cinematic, but let’s be real - the Russian embassy’s response was the diplomatic equivalent of a “seen” blue tick with no reply. They’ve “taken note” of the reports. Translation: Don’t hold your breath. This guy is sitting in Moscow, laughing at our press releases while our governments pretend they have the reach to pull him back to face the “rigours of the law.”

This whole circus is just another example of how we react to the symptom instead of the disease. It’s the same energy as The Performative Outrage Trap: Why the Trump-Bad Bunny Circus is a Distraction We Can’t Afford. We get loud, we demand justice on social media, and the politicians give us a show. Meanwhile, the systemic rot - the way these “travel bloggers” are allowed to roam free with no oversight - remains exactly where it was. We love the drama of the chase, but we’re terrible at building a fence.

Under our Computer Misuse and Cybercrimes Act, this guy faces two years in prison. Two years. That’s it. For potentially destroying the reputations and mental health of dozens of women, he gets a sentence shorter than most car loans. And that’s if they catch him, which they won’t. In a country where you can get harassed by the police for just standing on a street corner, it’s funny how the actual criminals always seem to find the exit door at JKIA just in time.

So, ladies, keep your eyes open and your expectations low. The government isn’t coming to save you from the next man with a pair of “cool” sunglasses and a hidden agenda. They’ll wait until the video is viral, make a speech about “gender-based violence,” and then go back to arguing over the next tax hike. Stay cynical, stay safe, and remember: in Nairobi, if something looks too good to be true, it’s probably being recorded for a Russian telegram channel.